I remember receiving feedback few years ago: “You are always willing help others. But if you are to succeed in the long run, you need to learn to seek support.”
The feedback took me by surprise, I had never really given it a serious thought. Also, as I reflected on the frequency / areas for which I sought support, I realized that I indeed hesitated to seek help from others, especially my peer group.
Further reflection and discussion with my manager, clearly indicated how I would have benefited had I sought support. I wanted to get to the root of the challenge, here are the key reasons that stopped me from asking help:
- My strong need to be self-reliant. Yes, self-reliance is helpful, however any virtue when taken to excess runs the risk of becoming a vice.
- Unaware, not even realizing that when I need help… the need to be self-reliant got me stuck in a problem for a much longer period of time
- A small, yet a nagging worry, that it might hamper my image as subject matter expert, as a specialist… a doubt, “will I make a fool of myself?” Not consciously practicing vulnerability
- Emphasis on speed: belief that by bringing in one more person, few more ideas, the work may be delayed. In fact, this is counter-intuitive, I later understood that I may find short cuts
- Not willing to bother others, when they are also obviously busy with little time to spare
The more I reflected, the more I realized how misplaced my perceptions were… ever since, I have been on a journey to break these perceptions. What about you?
Perspectives 