Ecosystem for relationship is like soil for a plant. It can nourish the plant with its rich nutrients or kill it with its toxic contents. Similarly, the ecosystem can enable a relationship to deepen or turn it superficial or toxic.
Last couple of weeks I was lucky to have met several old friends, ex-colleagues and relations. I was meeting each one of them after several years, some after a good two and half decades. But, somehow when we met, the years in-between simply melted away! There were no awkward silences; conversation flowed smoothly. We felt warmth and comfort in each other’s’ company. Hours flew by, and in no time, it was time to part again! The brief catch-up however cemented the relationship further. More importantly, each interaction energised me!
I was forced to compare these relationships with few others in my personal and mostly professional life. I would carefully chose what to say, when to say, how to say to these people. I am careful because I was afraid of being misquoted or misunderstood, or my statements being misused for someone’s advantage. I would heave a sigh of relief after the meeting, glad that the it ended.
I am sure each one of us can think of such relationships in our lives. Trust – the foundation of any good relationship – seem to be missing here. On the face of it, everything looks fine – you seem to laughing and joking with the person. But, scratch little deeper and the scars would be visible. Many a times, we do not want nothing to do with the person. But, our work or circumstances leave us with no other choice, but be with them.
So, what’s the reason for such superficial or negative relationships – even with people with whom you are required to closely work or be associated with it. No doubt, individual attitude and behaviours play a role. Beyond this, I believe that the ecosystem plays a strong role.
Ecosystem for relationship is like soil for a plant. It can nourish the plant with its rich nutrients or kill it with its toxic contents. Similarly, the ecosystem can enable a relationship to deepen or turn it superficial or toxic.
Think about an ecosystem where
• There is high unhealthy competition
• People have inflated desire to advance and grow, at any cost
• Leaders create in-groups (doesn’t matter whether its knowingly or unknowingly)
• People are talked about (non-flatteringly) in their absence
Good relationships, especially at work, have the power to create a positive energy, happiness and reduce stress in people. It’s important for leaders to honestly reflect on the ecosystem they are creating for employees: unwittingly pumping toxic elements into the ecosystem or flushing it with energizing nutrients?
Perspectives 