This is your first job after college. After weeks (or months) of training, you are given an assignment that feels real.
You are putting in your best efforts. Long hours. Careful planning.
And somewhere inside, you want your manager to notice – to feel that you are doing well.
One day, your manager gives feedback: points out what’s not working, what you are missing, and what needs to improve.
It hurts. You feel angry, unappreciated. You might even think, “did all my effort mean nothing.”
You are stung with negativity. You are angry… feel unappreciated
These reactions are completely natural. Even after decades of working in corporate world, there are times I feel this way.
What matters is what you do next. Here’s are five things that will help you:
▶️ Pause and breathe. Try this: breath in for 5 counts and breath out for 10 counts. A longer exhalation will activate your parasympathetic nervous system and bring you out of fight or flight mode. It will help you calm down.
▶️ Don’t take it personally. Feedback is about your work, not your worth. You may have put in a lot of effort and still missed something. Both can be true.
▶️ Say thank you. This can feel hard if the feedback stings. But most managers give feedback because they believe you can do better. It signals that you are listening and want to improve.
▶️ Ask, don’t assume. Your interpretation of feedback may be different. So, clarify, “Can you help me understand where I can be more effective?” “What does good look like?”
▶️ Agree on next steps. End the conversation by agreeing what you will do differently and how your progress will be reviewed.
Critical feedback stings, but it can also be your strongest accelerator for growth and learning.
In your next feedback conversation, what would you focus on: pausing, asking or agreeing?
Perspectives 