We are wired to compete…

Nita walks into her first job. She is capable, and eager to prove herself. The organization speaks of collaboration and teamwork.

But inside her, another language is far more fluent.

The language of competition.

She didn’t choose it. She was raised in it.

It began when she was a child, barely able to tie her shoelaces.

She was enrolled in a prep school to prepare for admission into a good school.

She had to go through structured screening processes for communication, confidence, cognitive readiness in order to get admission.

Even before she understood what school means, she understood what selection means.

And more importantly, what rejection feels like.

Then came the race for marks

Every exam produced winners and losers.

Every report card carried silent comparisons.

Then came the ruthless competitive exams. She was overwhelmed by the options:

IIT JEE advanced ~16000 seats, 180000 students

NEET: 100000 seats, 2.3 million students

Then came the job market, where she once again competed for limited openings.

By the time she joined her first organization, she had competed for:

         •       School admission

         •       School performance

         •       College admission

         •       College performance

         •       Job selection

For 20+ years, her survival has depended on outperforming others.

It shaped how she thinks, behaves and sees others – not as collaborators, but as competitors.

Thus, collaboration is not a skill gap. It is a conditioning gap.

If we want her to collaborate, we have to help her unlearn and redefine success.

Question for managers: Are we ready to acknowledge this conditioning and reshape it?