Your manager gives feedback “You need to be more assertive in meetings,” You know you spoke up plenty. The feedback feels unfair and you want to defend yourself.
You have two options:
Option 1: Dig your heels in.
You argue your case, explain why the feedback doesn’t make sense, and walk out feeling like you “won.” But what’s the ripple effect? Your manager now sees you as defensive, maybe even difficult to coach.
Option 2: Zoom out.
You step back and think: “Overall, is my manager supportive? Does she want me to grow?” If yes, then maybe this one comment isn’t worth burning energy on. So you listen, say thank you, and focus on the bigger picture.
Now picture this: you and your best friend are planning a vacation. You are excited about Italy. She is set on Japan.
Option 1: Stand your ground.
You push for Italy, debate every detail, and eventually, planning itself becomes stressful. Even if you end up in Rome, the friendship takes a dent.
Option 2: Play the long game.
You decide, “The destination isn’t the point. Experiencing it together is.” You go along with Japan. The memories you create are worth more than winning the argument. And Italy? There will still be another trip.
Here’s the larger truth: you don’t need to win every battle to win the war.
We have limited time, energy, and mental bandwidth. If we spend it on every disagreement, feedback, or argument we will be exhausted before the real battles even show up.
So next time you feel that urge to fight, pause and ask yourself:
- What’s my bigger goal here?
- Does this battle help me reach it?
- Or is it just my ego talking?
Sometimes, real strength is knowing when to fight and when to let it go. Of course, there are times you need to FIGHT.
👉 What’s the one “battle” you have let go of that helped you win the bigger war?
Perspectives 