“Ever had someone ask you a question… only to hijack the answer?”
That’s boomerasking — when curiosity is just camouflage for self-promotion.
Last evening, an ex-colleague called me out of the blue. We hadn’t spoken in 5 years, so I was pleasantly surprised.
He asked, “What’s your son doing? How is he settling in the new country?” He mentioned how he remembered my son as a little boy. I gave a short update — barely a minute.
Then he cut me off.
For the next ten minutes, he spoke about his daughter’s PhD, awards she is winning, and her bright career prospects. Then he wrapped up the call.
I hung up wondering: Did he call to check on my son, or to tell me about his daughter? It felt like the latter.
Alison Brooks calls this boomerasking — when someone asks you a question, but uses it as a launchpad to talk about themselves.
You’ve probably seen it:
A colleague asks, “How was your weekend?” — then spends 15 minutes describing theirs.
A manager asks for your suggestions — then shares all of their own.
A friend asks about your travel — only to tell you about their upcoming vacation in greater detail.
We have all been guilty of it at some point. The excitement to share can overpower the intent to listen.
How to Avoid Boomerasking:
Be aware — Recognize the tendency. The moment you ask a question, give space for the answer.
Hold back your story — Let the other person finish before you chime in.
Ask a follow-up — Show genuine interest in their answer before you move to your own.
At the outset, I would like to thank you for stopping by my Blog.
I believe that there is nothing right or wrong in this world. What’s right in this moment and context may be wrong in another moment and context. This belief has inspired me to name my blog ‘Perspectives’.
Perspectives is a platform for me to share my experiences, thoughts and perspectives on various subjects. You may have a different point of view. I look forward to hearing them, these are the triggers for rich and deep conversations.
On personal front, I live in Mumbai, India. I love to read; Somerset Maugham and Nevil Shute are my favorite authors. My favorite books are The Razor’s Edge, Mrs. Craddock, Chequer Board and Gone with the Wind. I am thankful to my father who inculcated the habit of reading in me early on.
I am also passionate about traveling, I have been to most parts of India and to several countries across the globe.
On professional front, I work in Human Resources function. Over two and half decades, I have worked across multiple industries and cultures. I focus on Leadership Development, Talent Management, Visioning and Culture, Large-scale change, Employee Listening & Engagement, Employee Well-being, Inclusive work culture, HR effectiveness, Behavior and Mind-set shifts through sustained interventions
I currently lead Organization Effectiveness Function for Aditya Birla Group, a $44.3 billion conglomerate with 120000 employees across 35 countries.
I sincerely hope that you will enjoy reading my blog. I look forward to your thoughts and suggestions.
Thank you!
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Perspectives 