BUT Vs AND

Words are powerful; tiny shifts in our language can lead to big impact. Before reading on, pause for a moment and reflect – which word do you use more often:

BUT or AND?

Say you are in a meeting, and you share a new idea. Your manager responds, “that’s a great idea, but we don’t have the budget for it.” ‘BUT’ negates everything that came before it. Despite acknowledging the idea’s value, your manager may have inadvertently killed the enthusiasm and creativity.

What if your manager says, “that’s a great idea, and we would need to explore how we can adjust our budget to make it work.”

How would you feel – that your idea has been acknowledged and there is an invitation to explore solutions?

AND is a powerful word; it helps build positive relationships, solve problems and collaborate. Here are few examples where we can use AND instead of BUT

Sharing feedback:

• “You did well in the project, but you exceed the budget by 10%.” VS
• “You did well in the project, and improving budgeting will make you more effective.”

Conflict resolution:

• “I understand your point, but I don’t agree with your approach.” VS
• “I understand your point, and I have a different perspective on the approach.”

Customer service:

• “We appreciate your feedback, but there’s nothing we can do at the moment.” VS
• “We appreciate your feedback, and we’ll explore ways to address your concerns.”

Problem solving:

• “This is a good idea, but it might be too risky.” VS
• “This is a good idea, and we should carefully assess the risks involved.”

AND leads to endless possibilities. How often do you use AND in your conversations?