Imagine God appears before you and says, “I am happy with you my child, I want to bless you. I can bless you either with ‘confidence’ or ‘competence’, you can choose one.”
What would you choose? competence or confidence ?
Confidence is the belief in own abilities and judgement. It’s all about positive self-perception and self-assurance.
Competence is the knowledge, skills or ability to perform certain role, task or deal with a situation.
In absence of competence, confidence gives self-assurance to approach tasks or challenges with a sense of certainty and trust in one’s ability to learn along the way!
Whereas, lack of confidence adversely impacts even competent people. I recall my early years in HR; my lack of confidence held me back from facilitating workshops for leaders. I was well prepared, but I could not muster the courage…
Thus, in my view, confidence trumps competence….any day!
Source of low self-confidence can be varied: childhood experiences, negative experiences, comparison or lack of support.
Unlike competence which is specific to a role, task or situation, confidence runs the risk of being pervasive. Hence, its critical to first build confidence.
Five C’s that have helped me build confidence are:
1. Confront fear – by facing fears head-on, we will gradually get over them. That’s what I did decades back, one fine day after due preparation, I plunged into what I was afraid of – facilitation…
2. Challenge yourself to do new things – as you succeed – either in big or small ways, confidence tends to increase
3. Celebrate small wins – instead of waiting for the big wins. This releases dopamine in the brain and helps build the desired wiring of neurons.
4. Compassion towards self – as you try new things, you will invariable make mistakes. Thus, doles of self-compassion helps, especially as people with low confidence also tend to be most critical of themselves.
5. Create success journal – and read it when faced with seemingly unsurmountable challenges.
Perspectives 