Feeling Relevant?

Few weeks back, I called my uncle; it was his 75^th birthday. After a bit of chit chat, he said, “All considering, I am OK. Anyways, how does it matter to anyone anymore.”

His comment tugged at my heartstrings. He was asking “does my existence make a difference? To whom – Family? Friends? Community?” Simply put, he was questioning his RELEVANCE in the world.

Oxford dictionary defines relevance as ‘something important to the matter at hand’. Thus, its application is very wide: to all life stages and situations: social, personal and professional.

The need to feel relevant is a basic human need. Each one of us want to feel relevant – that we matter to our family, friends, teams at work, profession, community and the organization. That someone wants us, is keen to speak to us, seeks our inputs, dependent on us for something.

I know a senior leader who literally went into depression post his retirement (he wasn’t willing to retire yet had to because he had reached the superannuation age). He just couldn’t manage the sudden loss of relevance – no one waiting for his decisions or hanging on to what he says, his advice.

So is life… our relevance changes. Here are few thoughts on sustaining the sense of relevance:

• Accept that our circle and depth of relevance will vary through the life. For example, when our children are young, we are at the center of their world. As they start going to school and later to college, they still love us, but we no longer are at the center of their lives, our relevance reduces. Similarly, as we climb the organization ladder, our relevance (at least in our mind) may expand more and more. When we step out of the organization, we have to accept the dip in relevance.

• Be open to building new relationships, creating different possibilities – Post retirement, a senior leader might not be relevant to his or her organization, but he / she can continue to contribute to the profession or society – or even a small group of people in his life. Life is transient, so is our relevance – we have to find new ways and areas to make a difference to others.

• Staying abreast, continuously learn and adapt – agreed the rate of change is fast for everyone. That’s where, the openness and desire to learn and adapt makes a big difference. This is applicable to organizations as well. Think of Kodak – how relevant it was in our lives (remember Kodak moments?) and how it became totally irrelevant. It’s no different to human beings – we must make conscious efforts to stay relevant – irrespective of our life stage or career stage!